- 5:42 PM
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A movie critic is much like an assassin. We
need to know our target, follow their every move, and when the time
comes to pull the trigger, we mustn't hesitate. Which is why, instead of
the usual preamble, I'm going to give it to you straight: don't go see Hitman: Agent 47.
Don't watch the trailers or clips online, don't even pirate the damned
thing on your computer out of curiosity. It isn't worth your time, and
the film knows it as it lies on the screen with less life than
Quicksilver at the end of Avengers: Age Of Ultron. If you're adverse to blood, don't see this movie and don't read this review – because Hitman: Agent 47 is the target... and I always close my contracts.
Agent 47 (Rupert Friend) is hired for a double contract killing. One target is the secretive Le Clerq (Thomas Kretschmann), the head of Syndicate International – a biotech firm responsible for trying to continue the work of a Russian scientist who has perfected the ultimate weapon – the Agent program. The second target is a mystery, but linked to a young woman (Hannah Ware) who may be more than who she seems. Unfortunately for her, she's being followed by a man (Zachary Quinto) who'd kill to find out.
To put this into terms the gaming industry will understand (in hopes that they'll think twice before letting another video game franchise get sucker punched by Hollywood) the folks behind Hitman: Agent 47 only played the campaign levels. Those involved in the creative process have created a speed run of a film, while neglecting the side quests that develop a story beyond the straight and narrow. It is as clinical and sterile as its protagonist, and it steals from multiple films and genres in a way that is less an homage and more a hatchet job. If The Bourne Identity and Resident Evil had too much to drink and hooked up back in 2002, this is the baby that one of them would bring to the doorstep of the other, begging them to take it.
Agent 47 (Rupert Friend) is hired for a double contract killing. One target is the secretive Le Clerq (Thomas Kretschmann), the head of Syndicate International – a biotech firm responsible for trying to continue the work of a Russian scientist who has perfected the ultimate weapon – the Agent program. The second target is a mystery, but linked to a young woman (Hannah Ware) who may be more than who she seems. Unfortunately for her, she's being followed by a man (Zachary Quinto) who'd kill to find out.
To put this into terms the gaming industry will understand (in hopes that they'll think twice before letting another video game franchise get sucker punched by Hollywood) the folks behind Hitman: Agent 47 only played the campaign levels. Those involved in the creative process have created a speed run of a film, while neglecting the side quests that develop a story beyond the straight and narrow. It is as clinical and sterile as its protagonist, and it steals from multiple films and genres in a way that is less an homage and more a hatchet job. If The Bourne Identity and Resident Evil had too much to drink and hooked up back in 2002, this is the baby that one of them would bring to the doorstep of the other, begging them to take it.
- 5:40 PM
- 0 Comments
About Me
- Alamin Hossain
- Hey, I'm Al Amin from Bangladesh. I'm just a curious guy who loves to try simply everything!